Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Enough

It's been awhile since I have visited the old keyboard to sit down and write my thoughts, but that doesn't mean it's been slow around here. As we move ever closer to the "GO" trip, things seem to be heating up. Maybe those of you getting ready to go will sympathise. It seems like every step closer we get to going, the enemy turns up the heat a little more. He hates it when God's people move. He hates it when they step out to care for those in need. And I believe that he especially hates it when it is those most vulnerable souls, closest to the Master's heart, are being cared for, are being reached out to , are being loved. The enemy hates that and he won't sit idly by and watch it happen. Thus the attacks. Ever increasing, ever intensifying.

A week or so ago I was feeling fairly confident about being ready for the trip. Shots, check. Passport, check. Daily prayer time, check. Deodorant, check. The list went on an on. A few minor details and I would be cruising the skies to Africa, or so I thought. As the days shortened till GO day, I began feeling the attacks from Satan and his cohorts start to increase. At first I thought that A little more time in prayer and reading His word would conquer all. But as the fiery darts came faster and faster with more fury I began to doubt. Was I really supposed to go on this trip? Did God really want to use me? Was I even worthy enough to serve these beautiful children of God?

Just when I thought I was about to sink in the midst of the furious storm, God did something awesome. He didn't tell the wind and the waves to be still, He told me to be still. "Be still and know that I am God" Psalm 46:10. God did not chose to calm the storm, instead He chose to calm me. We serve a big God who always knows what we need, even when we don't.

Tonight I sit here reflecting on the past few weeks, the attacks, the struggles, the doubts, the fears, and I know that God is really all I need. He has allowed me to go just far enough to be broken, but not unusable. Now He has picked up the pieces and He's putting me back together one piece at a time. But this time he is starting with an empty vessel. No more of me, just His strength. I am nothing without Him. But, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Phil. 4:13.

So I guess for me it really wasn't just about the attacks, because they will still come. It wasn't just praying and reading my bible, though I still do that. And it's not even just about serving others, but I still will. The thing that I have learned the most these last few weeks is that through it all, God is enough. He is faithful to bring us through all things. We may be a little bruised or battered, but He is enough. Nothing I ever do or say or think or feel will ever separate me from the love of my God. "For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord." Romans 8:38, 39. He is enough. Always.

2 comments:

  1. Thank you so much for this!!! It is exactly what I needed...we have had some of the same feelings and just two days ago, one of the ladies praying for us told me the exact verse that you quoted..."Be still..."
    Thank you again!!

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  2. I cried as I read this. I am sorry that you have had to go through the attacks, the feelings of inadequacy and questions, but I know it is needful, because of what God is doing in your life.

    In the hardest trial of my life, as I felt every day like I was about to drown, what I learned about my God was that He is sufficient. That word may not convey to others nearly what it meant to me, and it seems so inadequate to describe all that He is, and yet, it was all I needed. HE is all I need! My God is sufficient!

    GO in the strength of the Lord, knowing He is all you need! You will be a blessing!

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