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Wow! Is it really June 14th already? It seems like just the other day I was getting ready to head to Africa for 2 weeks and now I've been back for 5 days already. It must be the jet lag. I can't believe the trip is over already. I was hoping to update my blog while I was gone, but that obviously wasn't the case. Lack of time, limited internet access, sometimes lack of power, and just plain exhaustion kept me from posting one single time. But I think the biggest reason that I didn't write while we were in Africa was because I just didn't know how to put anything into words. The sights, the sounds, the smells, the people, the tastes, the weather, all of it just seemed to run together and it was definite sensory overload. I decided to take a journal and just write down what happened each day. I am so glad I did because even now as I am going back and reading it just a few days later, I am amazed at just how much went on.

Anyway... it's Sunday afternoon and I thought I would take this chance to at least tell those of you who supported this trip thank you. Thank you to everyone who donated, financially supported and especially to those who prayed. I can't begin to tell you how amazingly I saw God move throughout this trip. I am convinced that it could not have gone any better (besides a few lucky ones who got to enjoy a few meals twice :)). I know that God's hand was on this trip from the beginning and that was due in no small part to everyone's prayers.

We took 19 people (mostly youth) halfway around the world, to a culture most of us could never dream about, and asked God to use us and stretch us, and He did! We played soccer with homeless kids. We fed orphans. We loved on babies who have no one. We prayed with people suffering from AIDS. We sang and danced (sort of) to incredible African praise music. We tossed thousands of bricks. We built a kitchen (which turned into a whole new house) for an orphanage. We laughed, we cried, and we saw God. It was absolutely amazing!

Not everything we experienced was easy or even fun, but it was in those tough times that I saw God move in ways that left no doubt that it was Him. One night after a particularly trying day, we were sitting around recounting some of the hard events of the day and I was talking about how it seemed that nothing was coming easy in this adoption process. One of the other members of our team looked at me and said that if it were easy, we may not need to rely on God in every step. How true.

With all that happened there is still one highlight that stands out head and shoulders above the rest. He is about 2 1/2 years old, and he is soon to be the newest member of our family. (He also happens to be the cutest kid in Africa!) More on that later.

Some of the boys at the orphanage.

















Tossing bricks. (nice catch)
















Maybe we weren't as much help as we thought.

Sent

I have been getting a little nervous the past few days just thinking about the enormity of this trip we are about to go on. I am very excited, but in the same breath, I will admit I am nervous. The other night God really spoke to me through something that one of the guys in my men's group brought up. It was out of Acts 9:15. The context of this verse is where the Lord came to Ananias in a vision and was telling him to go to meet Saul and restore his sight. Ananias is more than a little shocked and confused. He knows Saul's background. He knows that Saul was one of the driving forces behind the persecution of God's people. Because of his knowledge of Saul, Ananias does a double take, he questions the God of the universe. Acts 9:15 But the Lord said to Ananias "Go, for he is a chosen vessel of Mine to bear My name before Gentiles, kings, and the children of Israel." There is no hesitation in God's answer... "Go". One of the guys in my men's group had this as a side note in his Bible:

"Go!" That was a direct order to Ananias. If God tells you to move, don't stand around asking what you're supposed to do. Don't waste time looking for the right moment to act. Don't wait for other people to open the door for you. Don't let a lack of motivation slow you down. Just go! You have the authority to act. You're an instrument of God, a personal emissary of the ruler of all things. If you're being faithful to his will, no one can safely oppose you or stand in your way. In fact, the only person who can stop you is. . . you.

Did you get that? You have the authority to act. I have been sent from the God of the universe. The same God who kept Daniel's friends from getting burned in the fire, the same God who spoke and the Earth came into existence, the same God who measures the oceans in the hollow of His hand, He is the God who is sending me. So I may be nervous, but it pales in comparison to the fact that I know that God himself has sent me. Praise Him!

Just One

As we rapidly approach the departure date for our trip, I find myself asking God to use all who are going to further the cause of His kingdom. I am one of those people who tends to imagine the way something is going to happen and then when it comes down to it, it usually looks nothing like what I had pictured. God says His plans are higher than mine, and I know that is so true. I have found that when I finally release that facade of control over a situation, He is able to blow away my expectations and show His awesome power.

This morning I was reading about when Jesus and His disciples got into the boat and sailed to Gadarenes, opposite Galilee. On the way a terrible storm arose and the boat was taking on water. Jesus' disciples were frightened and called for Him. He responded calmly and rebuked the wind and waves. When they arrived, the man called Legion, who was filled with many demons met them. This was a man who was cast out of society, a misfit, one whom no one loved. He was crazy, cutting himself, running naked in the tombs. If anyone was beyond help, it was this guy. The people of his city had bound him in chains and he had gotten away. They were happy to have him gone. To them, he wasn't even worth going after. But Jesus had other plans. Jesus not only cast out the demons, but when the people of the city came to see, they found him in his right mind, sitting peacefully with Jesus. He was healed, he was whole. After the people realized what had happened, they were afraid and sent Jesus and the disciple back across the sea.

That was the extent of Jesus trip and ministry in that area. He risked his life and those closest to him, sailed through the storm, and arrived in a new place where no one believed Him, all for one lost soul. Just one single, lost, frightened, apparently worthless soul. He was willing to give it all for just one.

I don't know what will come out of this trip, but God does. His will is perfect and His love for each one in unsurpassed. I am excited to see what He has, whether it be to reach thousands or just one.

As I read this story I was also struck with how the trip really had nothing to do with Jesus' followers, it was all about that one lost soul. However on the journey He used the storm to show His awesome power and majesty. Like I wrote in my last post, I really don't enjoy the storms, but when I am able to see God move through them, I am forever changed. I am brought just a little closer to His feet, and that is where I long to be.

Enough

It's been awhile since I have visited the old keyboard to sit down and write my thoughts, but that doesn't mean it's been slow around here. As we move ever closer to the "GO" trip, things seem to be heating up. Maybe those of you getting ready to go will sympathise. It seems like every step closer we get to going, the enemy turns up the heat a little more. He hates it when God's people move. He hates it when they step out to care for those in need. And I believe that he especially hates it when it is those most vulnerable souls, closest to the Master's heart, are being cared for, are being reached out to , are being loved. The enemy hates that and he won't sit idly by and watch it happen. Thus the attacks. Ever increasing, ever intensifying.

A week or so ago I was feeling fairly confident about being ready for the trip. Shots, check. Passport, check. Daily prayer time, check. Deodorant, check. The list went on an on. A few minor details and I would be cruising the skies to Africa, or so I thought. As the days shortened till GO day, I began feeling the attacks from Satan and his cohorts start to increase. At first I thought that A little more time in prayer and reading His word would conquer all. But as the fiery darts came faster and faster with more fury I began to doubt. Was I really supposed to go on this trip? Did God really want to use me? Was I even worthy enough to serve these beautiful children of God?

Just when I thought I was about to sink in the midst of the furious storm, God did something awesome. He didn't tell the wind and the waves to be still, He told me to be still. "Be still and know that I am God" Psalm 46:10. God did not chose to calm the storm, instead He chose to calm me. We serve a big God who always knows what we need, even when we don't.

Tonight I sit here reflecting on the past few weeks, the attacks, the struggles, the doubts, the fears, and I know that God is really all I need. He has allowed me to go just far enough to be broken, but not unusable. Now He has picked up the pieces and He's putting me back together one piece at a time. But this time he is starting with an empty vessel. No more of me, just His strength. I am nothing without Him. But, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Phil. 4:13.

So I guess for me it really wasn't just about the attacks, because they will still come. It wasn't just praying and reading my bible, though I still do that. And it's not even just about serving others, but I still will. The thing that I have learned the most these last few weeks is that through it all, God is enough. He is faithful to bring us through all things. We may be a little bruised or battered, but He is enough. Nothing I ever do or say or think or feel will ever separate me from the love of my God. "For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord." Romans 8:38, 39. He is enough. Always.

A Mother's heart

I wanted to write a post that paid tribute to all of the hard work and dedication that my wife shows every day of her life as a wife and a mother. After thinking long and hard about it I realized that just mentioning her incredible attributes would probably not be all that unique. So I decided to remember a few specifics...

Like the time she learned how to crochet baby blankets because her ailing grandma, who had made a blanket for all of the grand kids, was no longer able to crochet. She had one of her friends teach her and with much patience and love, she made two of the most beautiful baby blankets I have ever seen for her two new twin nieces.

Or like the time just this morning when she got up at 6:00 am on Saturday (the only day she doesn't have to get up early) because there was a girl who's car broke down in front of our house and Shauna made her breakfast and talked with her just because she wanted her to feel comfortable.

There's also the many, many times that she has told me how excited that she is for me to be able to go to Africa. Never once has she had a hint of jealousy. I can't say I would be able to do the same.

Every Sunday morning when we get ready for church she makes sure that everyone else is ready first (including me) before she spends whatever time is left getting herself ready, (which usually isn't much with a family of six) but somehow she always steps into church looking like the belle of the ball.

There's the pure joy that I see in her face when I listen to her talk about our kids. You would think that each time she tells a story about what one of them did or said today, it was the first time she had ever seen one so cute.

There are so many things that I could say about my wife on this Mother's day, but I'll just keep counting back the memories... thanks Hun. I love you!

The Master's Heart

My quiet time the other day found me reading from Acts chapter 6. The scene is this: the early church is really starting to take off. The twelve disciples are preaching the word all over and at the same time trying to take care of the widows and orphans. The problem was that they just couldn't do it all. So they set in motion a plan to choose 7 of the best men that the church had to offer to minister to the ones so often overlooked. The twelve disciples, men who had walked with God incarnate for years, knew where His heart is; with the poor, the lonely, the hurting, the sick, with the widows and the orphans. The solution they came up with was not to neglect these precious ones, but to choose the most Godly people to oversee their care. Acts 6 :3 says, "...seek out from among you seven men of good reputation, full of the Holy Spirit and wisdom, whom we may appoint over this business." I like that qualification "full of the Holy Spirit", it says that these people deserved the best. The next few verses go on to say the first of those chosen was Stephen. It says, "And they chose Stephen, a man full of faith and the Holy Spirit...", obviously this was God's man. Stephen was so much God's man that it says those that arose against him and disputed him, "..were not able to resist the wisdom and the Spirit by which he spoke.". The thing that I find the most incredible is the fact that Satan and all of his forces were probably on overdrive trying to keep up with all that was going on with this new radical wave of "Christians" who were taking the world by storm for God. Of all the people, in all the ministries that they could have chosen to attack, they attacked Stephen, one of the chosen to care for the orphans and widows. Stephen is the first recorded martyr for the Gospel of Christ. The first. He set the bar, so to speak. He was faithful even to death. The enemy could have gone after Peter to kill him. After all, he was "the rock" right? They could have gone after John, the one whom the savior loved. I have heard it said that a great military leader goes for the heart, the core of their enemy's strength. How interesting that Satan's first fatality in this great battle was Stephen, the one chosen for his faith and total dependence on the Holy Spirit, the one chosen to look after God's widows and orphans. Is there any question where our Master's heart is?

Donations for the orphanage!

The kids and I spent this afternoon going through the things that have been donated so far for me to take to the Redeemer House orphanage in Ug*nda. I am going to be able to take a bunch of necessities with me as well as soome fun things to give out on my trip to Africa. I am so excited. Thank you to all who have donated. I am overwhelmed ny the generosity of people (some of whom I don't even know). I am not surprised however. God's people are everywhere and it is amazing to watch people make such a connection with people they will probably never see. Thanks again for the donations. Here are some pictures of us trying to "organize" and pack.

Why "Go"?

For those of you wondering, I suppose I should explain why I started this blog in the first place and just what "GO" is all about. I'm not sure where to begin, so I suppose a little background is in order.

About seven or eight months ago my mom went to Africa for eight weeks. She had been before with a team, but this time she went by herself. She wasn't sure exactly what God had for her on that trip, but her heart has always been toward the orphan. Through the letters and emails she sent we began to understand why God says "Pure and undefiled religion before God and the Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their trouble, and to keep oneself unspotted from the world." James 1:27. We began to get a glimpse of the incredible pain and suffering that is so prevalent in Africa. Our hearts were broken and we began to pray and ask God what we could do. His answer was simple, "adopt" just as God had done with us. He was asking us to take his children, who happened to be born in another part of the world, into our family, to be our children. We had never really considered this before, but through much prayer and God being so confirming we knew this was his answer.

The decision to listen and obey him in this not-so-small area of our lives has enabled me to see that God does have great plans for my life if am just willing. "For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them." Ephesians 2:10.

I began to seek His will for my life more and more. I couldn't shake the feeling that God had more for me to do in Africa than just adopt. I wanted nothing more than to be doing His will, but what was it? I couldn't get enough of God and His word. As my relationship with Him grew, I was starting to realize how little of my life I had really given over to him even though I'd known Him most of my life. I was really trying to give Him every part of my life now, but I still found it difficult at times, particularly at work. I struggled to be a light in a dark world.

Fast forward a few months. Shauna was reading a post from one of the amazing blogs that she follows. She (the blogger) was talking about how she quite frequently hears from God and that it is very clear. I had heard from God in my own life, but not as clearly or as often as she was talking about. I decided to pray in faith and ask God to give me a word. Immediately He answered... "GO". That was it. My first reaction was "hmm... that doesn't make sense, I must be making things up. 'GO' doesn't mean anything, does it?" I decided to look up the word in the concordance of my Bible. Out of the many many references a verse instantly jumped out at me. "But I will hope continually, and will praise You yet more and more. My mouth shall tell of Your righteousness and Your salvation all the day, for I do not know their limits. I will go in the strength of the Lord GOD; I will make mention of Your righteousness, of Yours only." Psalm 71:14-16. What an incredible word. What an incredible verse. What an incredible God! I knew that God had indeed spoken. I now had those verses to stand on as I went to work every day. I thanked God for his perfect timing. Little did I know how far that word would take me.

A few weeks later I was looking on the internet and found the home page of a church in Colorado. The pastor of the church just happens to be the husband of the woman who's blog inspired me to ask God for that word. Right there on the front page of their website, in huge bold green letters, was one word... "GO". In the background was the picture of the flag of Ug*nda, Africa. I was stunned. God was again answering, giving me a little more direction in my life. "Go to Ug*nda." I soon found out that not only was this church planning a trip to go and serve there, but they were opening up a few spots to people following their blog. God is so good. He always has a plan.

Now here we are, 25 days until I get to GO. Needless to day I am ecstatic. I can't wait to see what God has in store.

There are SO many more details where God has confirmed and provided, like when I told our church missions board and they wanted to give $300 toward the cost of the trip, which happened to be the amount I needed to send in that week. Or the fact that I had been saving up my vacation at work and when I found out I was going to get to go, I had exactly 9 hours more vacation saved up than I would need. There's also the incredible generosity that has been shown by the people locally in giving so much to be donated to the kids we are going to be serving. I could go on and on about so many ways my God provides and answers when I just ask.

THANK YOU

THANK YOU FATHER FOR TODAY.

THANK YOU FOR MY FAMILYAND FRIENDS, FOR THOSE WHO KNOW YOU, THAT I CAN REJOICE WITH THEM. FOR THOSE WHO DON'T, THAT I CAN PRAY FOR THEM.

THANK YOU FOR MY WIFE, WHO ENCOURAGES ME TO LOOK MORE LIKE JESUS EVERY DAY, AND LOVES ME ENOUGH TO TELL ME WHEN I DON'T.

THANK YOU FOR OUR LEADERS, THOSE I AGREE WITH AND THOSE I DON'T, FOR THEY ARE ALL PUT THERE BY YOU.

THANK YOU FOR HEARTACHE, THAT YOUR LOVE AND GRACE CAN BE DISPLAYED.

THANK YOU FOR MY CHURCH, WHERE I CAN WORSHIP YOU IN PEACE AND PRAY FOR THOSE WHO CAN'T.

THANK YOU FOR YOUR SON, WHO DIED FOR MY SIN, THOUGH I STILL CAN'T COMPREHEND THAT KIND OF LOVE.

THANK YOU FOR MY FAILURES, THAT YOU CAN TEACH ME THROUGH THEM NO MATTER HOW PAINFUL.

THANK YOU FOR MY SUCCESSES, THAT ARE NOT ACTUALLY MINE, BUT YOUR MAJESTY DISPLAYED.

THANK YOU FOR THIS NIGHT, THAT I KNOW I REST SAFELY IN YOUR ARMS.

Weekend without Mommy

I just saw my beautiful wife off to Arizona to see our new twin nieces. I am going to miss her, but I am really glad that she gets to go visit for a few days. Have fun, hot stuff. We will be waiting for you!

Why I write

This is my first attempt at blogging, so it may be a little bumpy. I have been following my wife and her blogging world for several months and have threatened to write one myself for awhile but I've always found ways around it. Tonight I am finally going to follow through, not because I think I have wonderful things to say, but because I serve an amazing God who deserves to be praised on every platform. He is awesome. I could never say enough to do justice to what my relationship with Jesus Christ means, but I suppose no one who knows him can. So I write... to try to put the impossible into words.



I am not sure where to start, but all good stories start in the middle, right? Well, mine does. Several months ago my wife and I started to feel God was beginning to show us a bit of what the people in Africa, especially the orphans are going through. As we learned more of the horrific conditions that the majority African poeple live in, our hearts were broken. The hardest thing to grasp was the almost unbelievable number of orphans. We began to pray andask God what we could do. I fgured we could sponsor a child or two, support a local ministry, maybe even go on a mission some day. God's answer came, but it was much more involved than I had ever imagined. So I asked... again. And again He answered, clearly. But once more I had a hard time with his answer, it just wasn't what I was looking for. But God, in his amazingly patient manner, just kept on answering, "it's so simple... just adopt". He was not asking us to just throw money at the situation that was so heavy on our hearts. He wasn't asking us to simply give a portion of our time or money and then go on with our lives as if we had really made our mark in this world. He was simply asking us to do for others exactly as he had done for us, to bring them into our family and make them our own. Simple. Adopt.



I would like to say that we jumped in head first as soon as it was clear, but that's not quite how it went. However, through many questions, doubts, fears, concerns and just plain stubbornness we slowly began to see that God's plans are always better than ours. (What a hard lesson to have to relearn all the time.) And so here we are six months later bursting with excitement and eagerness to see who He has for us. We are still in the early stages, and nothing seems to be going fast enough now. (Patience- just another lesson I'm still learning.)



Through all this I realized that my response to His prompting us to adopt was how I had been living most of my life, for me. When Shauna and I decided to quit balking and just obey I made a commitment in my own heart as well, no more questioning God. No more hearing from Him and doing nothing because I wanted a different answer. Better yet, no more not hearing from him at all because of being too concerned about myself and what I wanted. No more living halfway for God, it is all or nothing. No more "lukewarm".



I am far from perfect. In fact I don't think I can even see it from here, but I know one who is. And He is where I draw my strength from. He is one I turn to after I fail at the same things over and over again. He is my rock, my first love. He is my savior. He is Jesus, King of kings and Lord of lords.



God is awesome and I am not worthy of His grace, but He gives it anyway. I don't deserve His blessings, but He blesses anyway. I fail to hear Him call, but still He calls. His love is immesureable. His patience, unfathomable. His blessings, unmatchable. His grace is perfect. My God deserves all praise and Honor. Praise Him, praise Him!